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with grief—when I say,

I’m not doing this anymore,

I mean, if another ash tree

              wilts, if the honeybees

 

 

don’t reinhabit their hive,

if this, and if that, I’ll slough

the last twig of belief. But

              I can’t make it past

 

 

January’s headlines, the orca

nudging her lifeless calf,

plying Puget Sound with her

              quenchless snout,

 

 

diving again, and again,

as often as she can, as often

as she can bear the weight

              that keeps slipping

 

 

her teeth. Again, and again,

her unalterable grip. I vie

for some other outcome:

              what if, what if—as if I

 

 

can strike a bargain to revive

the dead, as if I know what

a mother needs, as if I’d ever

              ventured that salty sea.

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