I FEAR I AM BECOMING WHAT I HATE
Alarm buzz rattles off the morning. Alarm buzz beckons thirty-three.
Alarm buzz pulls me into scorning – bed head, sleepy eyed and coffee.
Coffee, yes, and scrolling.
I try to wrap the abscess,
but my woeful heart is frothing. Alarm buzz tapers off its scream, and caffeine hails the bloodstream.
I dream
in a mind too distracted to think. Gray light daylight lies ahead, and I suffer to begin.
Real life stage fright, filled with dread,
all things I have no interest in.
Lord internet shows what I do wrong, and announces what’s at stake.
Radio plays the same ol’ songs, and it’s all so yesterday.
Another second closer to being gone and I’ve run out of words to say.
What happened to the passion of being alive? What happened to the thrill of discovery?
What happened to dopamine in my mind? Why do I live so softly?
I wish I could hit God’s backspace, Or capitalize the Now.
Instead, I nod to banality, and hope some hope is found.
Alarm buzz rattles the windows. Alarm buzz rattles the house.
Alarm buzz reminds me of these woes – no time until this buzz goes out.
