I practiced insanity in the mirror to satisfy
the hundreds, said my own name aloud until
it lost all meaning. Nellie, Nell-ie, Nellie.
How will you get me out after I once get in?
It was never a question of who I was or how
long I might be there. L gave me a spoon,
E a small pinecone she had kept safe in her
mouth for over an hour. J pressed a lock of her
hair into my palm, silently, like an heirloom.
My girls, forgive me. Each time they praise
or slander me, I conjure your faces–a single
feature, whatever I can summon. If nowhere else
on earth, you are held tenderly in my mind.
Stunt girl by Lindsay Stewart | Sandalwood & Vanilla Poetry Reed Diffuser Set
Lindsay Stewart is a poet from Northern California. Her debut chapbook house(hold) was published in 2022. Her poems have appeared most recently in The Greensboro Review, Gulf Stream, and Salt Hill Journal. For more poems, visit her website at lindsaystewart.weebly.com.
